Canis Canem Edit (PS2)

With the nerds totally won over (again), we set about taking out the jocks. This mainly involved humiliating them to varying degrees (taking pictures of a cheerleader in the shower, gluing the american footballers to a bench, etc.) and eventually I had to take out the entire team on the field. Which was alarmingly easy.

And then Chapter 5!

And it's all gone wrong. All the gangs hate me (again), and I had to do something to help each one. Johnny Vincent had gone missing (he'd been locked up in a loony bin, and there was a sneak-a-thon to get him out, and I hate them), the gym was on fire and I had to save all the girly jocks, and so on. And I had to trap a teacher in a portaloo and push it down a hill. Nice!

Canis Canem Edit (PS2)

Well, that's all the Greasers dealt with. This chapter seemed somewhat short, but perhaps it's just I found it easier and didn't have to redo any bits.

Now I'm onto Chapter 4 - and time to take down the final clique (which is constantly pronounced as "click" by the characters in the game, much to my irritation - it should be "cleek"), which is the Jocks. Why, then, do I appear to be at war with the nerds again? Tch.

So I smacked them about a lot, broke into the observatory, took down their "leader", aquired a spud gun, and now it's time to team up with them and take the jocks down. As it were.

Canis Canem Edit (PS2)

I seem to have had a huge break from this, as I was a bit lost when I started playing - mainly with the awful controls. However, I soon picked up the plot from where I'd left off.

It's Christmas, and I got a tasteful knitted festive jumper from my mum. I then had a few fights with Greasers, and the rich kids (caused by breaking into their "house" and killing a giant venus fly trap), and have become part of a love triangle (or square, or even hexagonal) with Johnny and Lola and Gord and just about everyone. Dirty girl.

Assorted Xbox 360 Demos (360)

And what a pile of crap most of them were.

Flatout UC: Dull. Like Burnout with no soul.
The Darkness: Reminds me too much of Prey, but seems reasonable.
Juiced 2: Like Need for Speed Underground crossed with Forza 2, but not great.
MotoGP '07: Yawn. Looks awful, plays just like the last one, which I disliked.

The "crown" goes to NASCAR '08 though. What a totally tedious, crap looking, pointless game. It's like Daytona USA on the Saturn, only with everything good removed and all skill made redundant, and most of the controls (braking, releasing the accelerator, turning right) made unnecessary. Rubbish.

Puzzle Quest (DS): COMPLETED!

Today started with having to find some herbs for the High Elves, and then progressed onto killing Lord Bane's three (rather easy) Generals, followed by a Deathknight and then an Iron Golem (both quite easy too) before finally "fighting" Lord Bane himself.

With an alarming about of HP (three times what I had), it was somewhat nailbiting at the end as we were both on around 30HP, there were red skulls galore on the grid, and it was my turn. I knew whatever move I took would lead him open to skull match next turn, and I knew my Stun spell was being reflected more often than not so I wasn't sure it would make him miss a turn. I gambled on it working, and it did! Lord Bane killed, win!

A roundup of the week

I've been away all week, so not been playing a huge amount in the way of games. However, my holiday was partly affected by rain, so my DS did get an airing. On that, I started playing Puzzle Quest, which is a Bejewelled/Zoo Keeper clone in an RPG setting. So you have to battle orcs and things by matching gems, and have special powers and stats and stuff. It sounds totally ridiculous, but is actually somewhat amazing.

I also played Silver Strike Bowling a fair bit. It's an arcade machine that was in the pub where we stayed. I managed to get about 120 as my highest score - some 85 lower than the highest scorers on the leaderboard. Who, naturally, were the pub staff.

Today, upon returning, I had a bit of a catchup on XBLA. There were two new XBLA games this week - Super Contra and Wing Commander Arena. Sadly, they're both crap.

Sonic Triple Trouble (PlayPal): COMPLETED!

I finally got round to putting some decent batteries in my PlayPal today, meaning the screen was actually bright and the sound volume audiable. I played Alex Kidd In High Tech World for a bit, but somehow managed to get Game Over without warning so played Triple Trouble instead.

It isn't actually very good at all. The main problem (and the problem with most of the Game Gear Sonic titles) is the small area of actual level that you see at any one time. You can't plan ahead much, so can't see holes coming up, platforms/rings/baddies/TVs etc. above or below, and it's far too easy to get pranged on unexpected spikes. Sonic's jump isn't quite right either, as it's far too floaty and making slight adjustments to your target landing point whilst mid-jump causes much frustration as you over-steer through no choice of your own.

It's also rather easy. None of the bosses killed me, bar Eggman at the end, and I only lost a few lives through the rest of the game (mainly on an underwater zone where I kept drowning or getting pranged), and I didn't use a single continue and had 5 lives remaining at the end.

Bomberman Live (360)

Played a few online games, but in every game there was at least one player who was lagging something chronic. This meant he was essentially invincible, as bombs couldn't hurt his as he wasn't really where he appeared, and also he magically seemed to drop bombs around you while he was actually somewhere else on screen. It was very frustrating!

Despite this, I did manage win a couple of sets-of-2!

Carcassonne (360)

Hurrah! I won my first ranked match this evening. In fact, it was the first ranked match the game has actually let me play, I think - every other time I tried I get disconnected, there's no-one playing, or my opponent quits before the game starts.

But I only won by a single point! I was convinced I was going to win when we were down to about 10 tiles, as even though we had the same number of points, I had stacks of farms and he had none. And although yes, I did indeed win, the number of almost complete castles, roads and monastaries brought his score up to 88, with mine at 89. Close!

Bomberman Live (360)

Played several games this evening with my wife and a few bots, with every setting possible set to Random. I won more than her, but then, I am Best.

Bomberman is ace, isn't it?

Super Random Saturn Game Festival Of Strange (Saturn)

I fished out a load more Saturn games this evening. They included 2DO Arukotowa Sandoahru, which is a totally bizarre Wario Ware sort of game. You have to do lots of strange minigames to defeat foes. Things like Match The Easter Island Heads (why to the Japanese love Easter Island heads in their strange games?), Shoot The Meat In Half To Feed Two Lions, and The Fish Game That I Have No Idea How To Play. It's fantastic, and seems to star close relations to Mobo and Robo from Bonanza Bros. Obscure!

Also, I played Bubble Bobble and Rainbow Islands, and a couple of awful Dragonball Z-that's-Zed-not-Zee titles. Amazing.

Yie Ar Kung-Fu (360) (Demo)

True story: When I was little, I was given a copy of a games magazine (which I think was Computer and Video Games, but I'm not sure). In it, there was a glowing review of the Spectrum version of Yie Ar Kung-Fu, and an advert for the same game. In fact, here's the advert...



Amazing scenes, yes? Anyway. I recall pestering my mum for days about this game. Reading her excepts from the review. Saying how great it was. You know, to convince her to buy it for me. She never did.

Many years later, I played it for the first time. It was crap.

So is the demo for XBLA, although I'm still strangely compelled to buy it anyway, out of some strange homage to the fact I wasn't bought it as a child. Even though I already own it on at least two other compilations. Tch.

Bomberman Live (360)

No messing with demo mode for this, it's Bomberman, so was bought straight off.

Firstly, the bad: I don't like the 3D graphics. I much prefer proper sprites, like the Saturn and PCE versions I've played recently. Secondly, the not-quite-overhead view is annoying, and although you can click the right stick to flick it back to the way it should be, you have to do this every single game - there's no option to set it as default. Next, there's an issue with the controls. The button to pick up bombs is the same button as to lay them (which feels wrong), and to lay a line bomb you don't just double-tab the "drop bomb", you have to hold the right trigger and press a button.

But, none of these things really matter, as it's still Bomberman and it's even online. OH YES.

So I played a few games against bots, then went online with random people, and won one of the three games I played there. Aces!

Canis Canem Edit (PS2)

Completed Chapter Two today. This involved lots of punching posh kids, egging their house (with the help of Russell), bike racing, and taking some posh girl out on a date and winning her a teddy at the fair.

The "boss" was another posh kid who kept hiding behind a bar whilst sending minions out to smack me about, but they were weak and easily brushed aside. Gary had been winding them all up with lies about things I'd said about them.

So, now it's almost Christmas and Chapter Three awaits!

Canis Canem Edit (PS2)

Didn't progress the story all that much today, mainly just causing havok (well, as much havok as a catapult and some itching powder can, anyway) and attending classes. I've completed Art and Chemistry completely now, and managed Shop 2 as well. Still having real issues with the PS2 pad, but then, there's nothing new about that.

Canis Canem Edit (PS2)

Russell DEFEATED! I think "blockhead" is the correct term for him. He's a bit stupid, anyway. So I beat him up when Gary went a bit nasty and basically declared war on me (and the school). I'm starting to think Gary might actually be the headteacher's son or something. There's bound to be a twist like that somewhere.

After that, I ran some errands for the cook (opening up the town outside the school), entered a boxing competition and won a lighthouse (no, really), and failed Art 5 and Chemistry 5 (bloody PS2 pad). And got busted when I accidentally punched Beatrice in the face when I meant to kiss her. Again, complaints aimed at the PS2 pad. My detention was to mow some grass.

I've also acquired a camera from the filthy Ms Philips (who teaches Art) and taken and passed my first Photography class. And! I have a BMX now!

Canis Canem Edit (PS2)

Yes. It really has been over a month since I last played this. But, well, Forza 2 happened, and Carcassonne happened, and Retro Week happened and so on...

But anyway. So I've progressed in Art, Chemistry, English and Gym quite a bit. I've got a skateboard, helped a freaky hobo, taken part in some Halloween pranks, beaten lots of people up, raided a locker in the girl's changing rooms, protected some nerds, and assorted other things.

Still not happy with the PS2 pad, but then, I rarely am.

Kirby's Dream Course (Wii)

Hey - no-one told me this was on the Wii's VC. Why not? Stuff that Paper Mario (because I can't bring myself to start it when I still have other, unfinished, ongoing games), Kirby Golf FTW!

So I downloaded it, and spent almost two hours playing it with my wife, across two courses. And it's ace.

Carcassonne (360)

Lots of play on this today. So much so, in fact, that I gained the achievement for 5000 points in total! Also played it online, and got the achievement for a 9+ tile city, although I didn't win the match. Came second though.

The rest of play was offline against the CPU, and loads of games against my wife. It seems farms are the keys to maximising your score, so I try to get in early with follower placement. Sometimes even on the first move.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Wii): COMPLETED!

I'd completely forgotten all about Hill Top Zone and Oil Ocean. I don't know how, but I had. And isn't Sonic 2 so much bigger than the original? I remember being slightly disappointed when I first got it, since most zones only had two levels, rather than the three the first game did, but there are so many more zones it doesn't really matter.

I was really pleased with myself for making it as far as Death Egg without dying, but then Metal Sonic pranged me several times, and since I'd forgotten exactly how to damage Eggman, he killed be a few times too. Bah.

But then I killed him and the world was saved!

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Wii)

Since I enjoyed replaying Sonic the Hedgehog on XBLA so much this week, I decided to buy the sequel on the Wii. Yes, I already own it a jijillion times, but since when did that matter?

And, of course, it's great.

So far I'm up to the end of Aquatic Ruin. Not had any problems yet, and haven't died either. Not that there's an achievement for not dying, as I keep thinking there must be. Bloody Xbox 360-isms.

Street Fighter Alpha 3 (PS2)

Hmm. Whereas Alpha 2 was mostly just Alpha with new (or rather, returned) characters and new backgrounds, Alpha 3 is totally new. Totally new fighters, new style, new super combo mechanics, redrawn characters (well, some of them anyway), and new moves.

I played as Ryu, who seems to have gained Ken's super flaming dragon punch super combo and lost his vacuum hurricane kick, and had a pretty tough time of it actually. Too much blocking and countering for my liking.

It didn't help that when I finally reached Bison, I died. And do you get to have another crack at him? No. It's Game Over! Rubbish.

It's a great game and all, but one fail on the end boss and you have to start the whole game again? Tch.

Street Fighter Alpha 2 (PS2): COMPLETED!

Erk. This was waaaaay harder than the first game. Especially when I got to Ryu, who seemed capable of countering just about every single attack I tried. In the end, I only beat him by being somewhat cheap, trapping him in the corner, and dragon punching and uppercutting the hell out of him.

I still only barely managed it though - I even thought the final killing blow was a double-KO, but I must have just had a slither of energy bar left.

After competing it, I played for a while longer with some other characters, and then had a go at Dramatic Battle as Ryu and Ken. It's hard. Way hard. You'd think it wouldn't be as it's a two-on-one session, but both of your team share the same energy bar, and often both get hit with the same blows, doubling your damage. Managed to see off Adon, but Sagat was a no-go.

Pinball FX (360)

Didn't play this for long. I was scrolling through my XBLA games list (some 40 games long now) and realised I hadn't played this all that much.

So I had a few goes on the Speed Machine table, and eat my previous 50 million score... by getting almost 300 million. And I'm not sure how. One minute I was stil around 35 million, the next I'd broken 250. Managed to get two achievements for this too, and reached second placed on my friends leaderboard.

Not so lucky on the Agents table though. A feeble 14 million was my best.

Sonic the Hedgehog (360): COMPLETED!

And not just completed - completed without losing a life! I didn't really even have to try that hard, actually, although I did nearly plunge to my doom on Scrap Brain Zone 1. Which would have been a bit of a pain. And I almost drowned twice on Scrap Brain Zone 3.

But I did it, which is all that's important!

Then I went and started again, to try for the Win In 40 Minutes achievement and the Fast Marble achievement. Managed the latter, and am now at Spring Yard Zone 1 with about 7 or 8 minutes "spent".

Carcassonne (360)

I seem to be playing this almost solely in two player with my wife these days. Not that that's a bad thing, just an observation. Anyway, played five games (without the river expansion, I should add) and won four of them.

Golden Axe (360): COMPLETED!

It's another 400 point Sega game, also arriving on XBLA today. And I completed it on my first go. As the woman, whose name I've forgotten. I keep wanting to say "Blaze", but that's Streets of Rage.

The bosses in this are just as easy as I remember. Dash attacks make short work of them, provided you can time everything right, but having other baddies floating around at the same time complicate matters. I think I lost 15 lives overall, but 5 of them were from falling off bridges because the screen didn't scroll fast enough or I respawned in front of a baddie who walloped over the edge instantly. I played through it a bit with the other two characters then, but didn't complete it with either.

OH! Tyris Flare!

Sonic the Hedgehog (360)

No, not the awful recent 3D "masterpiece" that I refuse to buy, but the original Megadrive version, available today on XBLA.

Yes. I already have this game twelventyzillion times. Yes, I have completed it on the Wii since Christmas. Yes. I did buy it. Again.

But it is lovely, see? And this version lets you save your game whenever you want! And there are leaderboards! So it was worth it, yes?

Of course it was.

Anyway. I'm up to Spring Yard Zone 1 so far, and haven't died yet. And I have all four Chaos Emeralds so far too. And several achievements, including completing the first level in under 30 seconds. Hurrah for Sonic, and, especially, hurrah for a Sonic game without annoying sidekicks!

Forza Motorsport 2 (360)

Level 20 GET! All (two!) Korean cars GET! Amazing scenes.

Mainly raced myself today, although I did hire a driver for a couple of races. Managed another hardest-settings race too, although it was on the same track as the last one so it wasn't really that challenging.

Braved the auctions again, mostly to get rid of some of the cars I have but don't need, but won a few too, including a New Super Mario Bros Nissan Fairlady Z. I'm sure Nintendo will love having a Nintendo-based car in a Microsoft game.

Mind you, it's slightly better than all the cars with naked people on.

Carcassonne (360)

My wife has been practicing this vs hard computer opponents, and so has upped her game considerably since we last played. Now there is increased deviousness in castle-stealage and farm planning, which makes things a bit harder for me.

I did, however, manage to beat her 2-1 this evening.

Forza Motorsport 2 (360)

I've ranked up to Level 17 now, but I'm starting to run out of races to participate in. Some need me to buy a new car (which I tried doing via the auctions, but again they just frustrated me), but most need me to be on level 20.

Raced a few more races, mainly by hiring drivers. It's the game that plays itself! You earn in-game credits for sitting on the toilet. Excellent.

I did drive a few myself though, including one on the hardest settings with all assists off, without touching the brake, and with the accelerator jammed down full the entire time. Ace. That netted me three achievements for the one race!

Forza Motorsport 2 (360)

It's about time I went back to this for a bit. Why, then, did I spent a good 45 minutes doing nothing but watch my AI driver play two races for me, then spend ages trying to buy and sell cars? I didn't actually do any driving.

And it's a bloody driving game.

And the auction is broken, as you can't specify a price you want to bid, making it all rubbish and long-winded when you're buying. Pah.

Carcassonne (360)

Yet more play on this with my wife this evening. We played a few games with a third (AI) player, but it just made things confusing. We also played with the river expansion turned on for a few games, but that too made it more confusing.

So we went back to playing it normally.

Street Fighter Alpha Anthology (PS2)

After finishing the first game, I thought I'd have a look through the other titles on the disc. I used to play Alpha 2 a bit a uni too, but not as much as the first one for some reason. It's still great, and yes, it's technically better than Alpha, but I think maybe it's just down to what I knew and loved first. Anyway, I played a few rounds, again as Kenneth for the main part.

And doesn't Dan look like Steven Seagal? He's just as crap too.

Then it was onto Alpha 2 Gold. I'd never played it before. Or even heard of it. And the only difference I can perceive is the fact there's an extra couple of squares on the character select screen to select random characters...

Next up was Alpha 3. Which I've only ever played briefly in the arcade. It looks way more polished than the other games, and has a huuuuge character roster. It also has confusing (I didn't read the manual) "isms" for fighting styles. I have no idea what they do. Ken is still ace.

Finally, it was Super Gem Fighter Mini Mix, which wasn't the Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo sort of game I was expecting it to be. Instead, it's a super-simplified fighter, with power-up gems, only three attack buttons (punch, kick, special) and Super Deformed characters from all over the Capcom Universe. It is nuts.

Street Fighter Alpha (PS2): COMPLETED!

I bought the Street Fighter Alpha Anthology pack for the PS2 yesterday, and put it on today for a quick play. Of course, the "quick play" turned into the completion of Alpha with Kenneth. Who is, naturally, the best of all the animals.

I'd forgotten how much I like this game. I used to play it for hours at university on the Saturn - literally hours playing Ken vs Ryu against a flatmate. HOURS. Of Ken vs Ryu. Good grief.

Carcassonne (360)

I started off with a ranked match against someone whose gamertag had far too many numbers in, and was losing for most of it. Then I picked up a bit, and had figured that one of my farms was going to completely obliterate his score in the end.

Sadly, that didn't happen - he must have had another follower somewhere and so we both got farm castle bonuses. It was close though, he won 97-95.

I then played quite a few games with my wife, gaining an achievement for getting a total of 2000 points in the process.

TMNT (360): COMPLETED!

It seems I only had a few more levels left to do, and a couple of them were quite short. The final one, however... took ages. Like, almost an hour.

The reason? The SuckySuck(TM) bit at the end. Most of the bosses I'd fought previously all returned, one after another. Of course, the first time you come across them, they either run away after a bit, or you do. Not at the end though.

The sticking point was General Mono. I think that's his name anyway. Big guy with a hammer. I could get his energy down to about half-way, then he did a super attack thing which I couldn't dodge, jump over, block or survive. So I had to fight him again. And again. Until I realised that a tag-team attack could dodge it.

So I got his energy bar to zero, only to find he still didn't die. But I did instead. Again, I had to fight him over and over again, eventually finding the single tag-team attack (Mikey flinging Donny around) that could lay in the killer blow.

All the other bosses were a cinch, so no issues there. Then it was all over!

I did return to the first level to try and get the "don't get hit in a level" achievement, which was easy, and I picked up a shell along the way, which gave me the "get your first coin" achievement. But they're shells, not coins. Tch.

That was the full 1000 gamerpoints for the game sorted though. I did "buy" a few extras, like big heads and Halloween baddies, but they don't add much to the game. Tried a few challenge mode levels too, but they're nothing special.

Overall then, a surprisingly good game, a bit short, very easy, but remarkably decent for a film tie-in.

Carcassonne (360)

Ha! In a shock reversal of fortunes, I was aces this evening, beating my wife in all four games we played. Excellent.

I should point out that I don't physically beat my wife. I meant in the game, you know? As in, I won?

TMNT (360)

Another two levels out of the way this evening. I quite like the graphical style of the Night Watcher levels - they're all in black and white, with just some red bits and slight colouring on the baddies. It looks great!

I had a look at the achievements list too, and I wonder why it says I haven't collected my "first coin" yet? I've picked up hundreds of them.

TMNT (360)

You know, this is actually quite good fun. It alternates between 3D platforming, fighting, and some almost-2D platforming. Completed another two levels today, another with Leonardo in the jungle, and then one back in the city (Manhattan, isn't it?) with all the toitles available to cycle through in some sort of tag-team action.

Yeah, there are issues (some with the camera, some with the controls), but it's not a bad game at all.

Carcassonne (360)

So I stupidly decided to play this with my wife. She was concerned that because I'd played it already, and she thought it was horribly confusing to play, that she'd have no hope of winning at all.

It didn't really surprise me that she won the first game. After all, I wasn't being as evil with castle/road blocking as I could have been, suggested better moves than ones she was contemplating, and generally just concentrated on her moves rather than my own.

But the second game? And the third? And the quick game against an Easy CPU while she was making a cup of tea?

Clearly, I am crap at this.

Carcassonne (360)

As expected, I bought some more points and unlocked the full version. Played a game against the computer, and lost horribly as I didn't seem to have a strategy for placing my followers in sensible places, as so all were pretty useless.

I then played online against "Richrad Live", who thrashed me for the first half of the game, then I almost caught him up, then near the end he broke free by miles again, but in the end-of-game points round-up, I almost matched him. Nail biting!

After that, and with some sense of follower strategy in my brane, I played offline again and whipped the CPU 147 to 67. Ha!

On easy though. Don't tell anyone!

Missile Command (360)

Wow! There are 25 of us super-secret Missile Command players now! It's an amazing elite club. Bet you're all well jealous.

Sadly, I'm not Best In The World any more. In fact, I was 5th. Tch. However, I did improve on my 29,500-ish score to reach 45,000-ish - putting me back up to second! Hurrah!

Carcassonne (Demo) (360)

It's a boardgame. And, after playing the tutorial, it all seems horribly confusing. However, after playing one game proper, it has clicked and is actually very simple.

And very good it is too, so I suspect I'll be buying this tomorrow. I just need some more points as I spent the last of them on Missile Command...

Missile Command (360)

This isn't due for another two days, but a glitch in the Xbox Live Arcade banners allowed me and (at the time of typing) 13 other people access to downloading it.

And so, for the first time ever, I managed to be top of a leaderboard on an Xbox 360 game. A leaderboard of 14 people, but still - there I am:



As for the game itself, well - it's pretty good. It works surprisingly well with the pad (although the "Classic" mode, which is the original arcade version isn't so hot on the pad), and looks nice enough. I'm just not very good at it. Good enough to be Best In The Entire World, but still not great, you know?

TMNT (360)

This arrived today. I wasn't really expecting much, but I put it on anyway.

Four levels later (one for each turtle), and I'm mildly impressed. It looks OK, the speed and moves are pretty swish (even if there's a lot of Prince of Persia theft), but there's something niggly about it that makes me want to hate it.

Yeah, so there's a few camera issues, and sometimes you do moves inadvertently, (like run along a wall instead of up it), but it's not awful. Which was a surprise.

Fish! (Spectrum)

Hurrah! I managed to melt the disc and make a ring in the mould without Micky finding me, and so the three warps were complete. The three artifacts found in each, however, opened up another warp, and so it was off into the next bit of the adventure.

I'm now in some sort of fish-universe version of London, where everyone is a fish, there are fish puns a-plenty, and there's even a version of the Tube to ride around the plaice. OH MY SIDES.

Anyway. My fishton has been nicked, I've bought it back again, wandered around a lot, found a pub, get a drunk even drunker, nicked his ID, and have bought a cylinder (which was instantly stolen from me). It clearly isn't my day.