Pro Evolution Soccer 4

Another attempt at an International Cup (as England) this evening. My group consisted of Japan, Latvia and Slovenia - all of which I drew with 0-0. Luckily, that got me enough points to limp through to the next round.

There it was Czech Republic again. I beat them 1-0, although they were bloody hard to get the ball off. And onto the next round!

Sweden. Bah. I got a goal past them in the first half, and thought I was going to manage it until they scored from a corner on the last minute of stoppage time in the second half. HATE. Extra time went by goal-less, leaving penalties. 4-3 to me, and I'm through! And next I'm up against Brazil. That'll be me out then.

Star Trek: Shattered Universe

This game really doesn't want you to do much other than shoot things, does it? I finally managed to figure out how to release the Excelsior from the dry dock in time, before some big ships arrived to try and destroy me. But I defeated them, and it was onto the next mission. I had to destroy some more ships, then pick up some dilithium crystals, and then shoot more ships. Then the Enterprise appeared again, so I shot it until it ran away.

The next missionand oh joy! Klingon-rock-Klingon-rock-Klingon-rock! Great. With them all destroyed, some Orion ships appeared. Sulu tells me to destroy them, so I blow one up. Then, ten seconds after it had blown up, I fail the mission. And it doesn't tell me why. The Excelsior is still in one piece (and Sulu was telling me "Nice shooting!" as the Mission Failed message appeared), as was my ship. How bizarre. OFF!

Star Trek: Shattered Universe

So I shot some more Klingons, shot a rock for minerals, then shot some Klingons, then shot a rock for more minerals. Then I shot some Klingons, and then shot a rock. After that, I shot some Klingons, followed by a rock. Then Klingons. Then a rock. And some Klingons. And a rock.

Riveting stuff, no? Finally, with all the Klingons and rocks out of the way, I flew back to the Excelsior. Sadly, there were some Klingons (but no rocks) in my path, so I shot them. Then a great big Klingon ship appeared, and I started to shoot that, but the ISS Renegade came along and scared it off.

So it was off to a Starbase to get repaired. Unfortunately, the Starbase commander cottoned on to the fact I wasn't on his side, and sent some Kli, uh, Imperial Fighters after me. So I shot them. Then I needed to shoot the docking clamps in the dry dock the Excelsior was docked in. I did, and the dry dock blew up taking the ship with it.

I had another two goes, and exactly the same thing happened. Stupid game.

Star Trek: Shattered Universe

I'm giving this a go. Good as PES4 is, it isn't "completable", and I need something that is. So far, Sulu and the Excelsior have ended up in the Mirror Universe, Chekov (commanding the ISS Enterprise) has attacked me, and I've shot some of his ships, and some Klingons.

It's like a crap version of Rogue Leader. And I didn't like Rogue Leader.

Ridge Racer DS

Just a quick go, and I finished the third track on the first "set" in first place. If you see what I mean.

I unlocked "Car Attack" mode then, which I played, and won a car. The Pink Mappy one, in fact. It's, er, great. I also noticed, while racing to win it, that you can do outrageous powerslides like those in Outrun 2. Which means Ridge Racer DS is now exactly 237% better than I'd thought previously. Hurrah, eh?

Pro Evolution Soccer 4

Hurrah! I finally won a game! I took on Serbia and Montenegro as England, and beat them 3-0. I'm BEST, I am.

Pro Evolution Soccer 4

I started a Cup today. In my group, my first match was me (as England) against the Czech Republic, which ended 1-1. Then followed Austria (0-0). and Nigeria (1-2). Bah. That meant I was kicked out of the competition.

I suppose it is an improvement over yesterday, however.

Pro Evolution Soccer 4

My first Xbox Live games on this, against my brother. I was Germany, and he was England. He beat me in both games, 1-0.

Not as bad as I'd expected, actually. I blame my wrist anyway.

Pro Evolution Soccer 4

Having not enjoyed a single football game since Sensible World of Soccer, I was unsure as to what I would think of this. I mean, everyone says it's the best football game ever (except chavs, who think FIFA is because it is made by EA), but it looked a bit more complicated than SWOS.

Anyway, I did some free training to start to get a feel for the controls, and then went into a match between England (me) and Belgium (CPU, chosen at random). I held out well for the first half, but then lost 0-3. Pah.

Another game, England v Scotland, and it was extra time before any goals were scored. And they were scored by Scotland, not me. 0-2 and I'd lost again. But it is good, and I'd play more but my sprained left wrist makes it difficult.

Ridge Racer DS

This arrived today, but I haven't managed to spend long on it yet as my DS's battery went flat. I did manage to come first on the first two races, however.

Graphics are "OK". I'm not really sure exactly what I was expecting there, but they're nice enough to not distract from the game, anyway. Not in the same league as the PSP Ridge Racers though, obviously. I've only tried the d-pad control option so far. It'll take a lot of getting used to, I can see that - I was all over the place! The trick seems to be to tap the pad round corners rather than hold it, else you steer too much and crash. Again.

Chokkan Hitofude

Had a quick go on one of the Endless modes, but it was too easy to stay alive, so I quit. I'm not really that keen on the Endless modes anyway, to be honest.

Then I finished a few more puzzles - all of the 50s bar 57 and 59, which I can't do.

Mahjongg Taikai

Hurrah! I actually managed to win a game! I even ended up with a score of 28, compared to the -8, -12 and -14 of the opponents. I'm quite amazed at myself.

Mario Golf: Advance Tour: FINALMENT!

With the Mushroom doubles out of the way, all that was left for me to do was the Mushroom Singles.

Needless to say, I won. With a staggering -12 score. Credits roll, Game Over!

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

With a bit more practicing out of the way, and my players bumped up a few notches, I tried the Doubles Mushroom tournament. And it's hard. You see, you sometimes have to hit "Play Panels" by landing on them, which in turn alter the layout of the hole. Of course, you can ignore them, but then you also make birdies near impossible.

I wasn't looking forward to bailing Neil out as well as defeating some difficult players on some hard holes, but thankfully he wasn't quite as crap as he had been previously.

I finished in last place on my first go (+7), with the winner getting -14. Rubbish. Luckily, on my second go I was much better and everyone else much worse. I won, managing -2. Second place was -1. Close!

Yoshi Touch & Go: TOUCHED AND GONE!

Something clicked today, and I not only managed to place highly on both the Challenge and Time Attack mode score tables, but I then went on to smash the highest scores already there. So, that's it then. OK, I can go back and try for higher scores, but I have "beaten" the challenges set out. Technically then, I've completed it.

I got 103 in the "hidden" bubble bursting game too. Shame there's no high score table for that too.

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

Went and did some more training sessions to take my golfers up a few levels, mainly so that Neil stops being an idiot. Sadly, he still is, but my attempt at the Links Doubles was successful!

I see that the Mushroom Tournament is now unlocked. Well, it was unlocked after the Singles, but I didn't go and have a look.

Yoshi Touch & Go

Further attempts at getting anywhere near the top of the score tables for Challenge and Time Attack modes ended in failure today. I'm 5th on Challenge, and nowhere at all on Time Attack. The latter is plainly not possible and I put it to Nintendo that they are trying to drive us gamesplayers mad on purpose.

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

Finished off all of the Club Slots events first of all, and then did some of the Links training thingies. After that, it was onto the Links Singles proper, and it's hard. Much harder than any of the previous tourneys, mainly due to the horrendous wind conditions. It took two attempts to best it.

Had a go on the Doubles for it then, but Neil was playing his worst so gave up.

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

After some more practice sessions in the Palms and Dunes training areas, I entered the Palms Tournament. Tried Singles first, and once again trounced the opposition. I hope this game gets a bit more challenging soon. Well, it did in Doubles, as Neil is now even more retarded than previously. Stupid, stupid boy keeps aiming correctly, but then only swinging for 75% of the shot making every single shot fall short. And, invariably, into a water hazard or bunker. Or tree. Or out of bounds.

I'd like to use one of the clubs to beat him to death, but that isn't possible. Anyway, thanks to some aceness on my part, we won anyway. The Links is now unlocked!

Yoshi Touch & Go

Been playing this for most of the day, and have finally managed to get to the top of the scoreboards on both Score Attack and Marathon modes. That means Challenge and Time Attack modes are open for me. And are clearly impossible.

I realised today what the point of the dropping-to-the-ground first section is - you build up points, and then the more points you get for that section, the better the Yoshi you land on. Different coloured Yoshis have different running speeds and different maximum egg limits. This seems to be very important for the two new modes I've unlocked today.

Yoshi Touch & Go

I am KING for I got 280 on Score Attack. The thing is, I know I can get at least 320, as I managed 120 on the first section, before messing it up, on an earlier attempt, and on my 280 go, I only got 81 on that bit.

Actually, 280 isn't really very high. I'm just hoping you don't realise that. And now I've ruined it. Bah.

Yoshi Touch & Go

Another few goes at this, on Score Attack mode, and I've managed to up my high score to a measly 230. I seem to have misreported my previous high score, which was 210, not 260. Me == Rubbish.

Grid Game

I don't normally list web based games that I play from time to time on here. Nor do I mention emulated games often, either. This web based game will break that trend though.

Grid Game, for want of a full proper name, is addictive. It's simple. It is a click once, then wait game. You need no skill to play. But play it you must.

My current high score is 2097. For I am best.

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

Entered the Palms Singles tournament, and won it with relative ease - I even managed my first hole in one! Once again, I was losing to start with, but soon overtook everyone. I realised why too - it's because the other players had played more holes. I though it was odd that "Nate Dog" went from 0 to -5 after a Par 3 hole...

Then I practiced on the Marion putting green, learned about Approach Shots, and had a go on the driving range. Both my players are now on Level 1o. Dunes tournament next then.

Yoshi Touch & Go

Hurrah! New game day! I've been waiting for this to arrive from DVDSoon for what seems like ten million years. Played Score Attack a few times, figuring out the controls (who reads manuals?), and scoring 260 on my best attempt. I then had a couple of goes at Marathon mode, reaching 2260m. What a truly bizarre game it is to control, but it's intuitive, and that makes it all OK.

No singing Yoshis yet though.

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

Went and did some drive and approach practice on the Palms practice area. Was crap at the former, and acebest at the latter. Whilst I was in the area, I decided to have a go at the Palms Doubles tournament. It started off much harder than the Marion one, in part because my partner has become a retard for some reason. He actually aims for trees and bunkers. Idiot boy. After three holes, I was on +5 and the leader was on -6. It didn't look good, but by Hole 9 we were both on 0, and at 13 I was on -2 and the previous leader on +1. I managed to inch ahead a little more (as the other pair slipped behind further) and at Hole 18 I was a fair way (hah!) ahead, and so won. Best!

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

Thought it best to actually take part in some tournaments today, so went and competed in the Marion Doubles. Which I won, with easy (I was -5 at the end, compared to my nearest rival, on +6).

Then I did the Marion Singles with similar success. I'm assuming the game actually gets harder, as it was really simple to come first in these two tournaments.

Mario Golf: Advance Tour

This arrived during the week, so I gave it a go today. Although a competent golf game, I'm a little unsure as to how the RPG elements work. I mean, I've gained a few levels (I played a practice round of doubles, had a go on the random club 3 hole game, and found a level-up mushroom), but altering some stats seems to be a bit hit and miss. For example, if I "spend" points on "Height", for Ella (my character) it goes down, but spending points on height for Neil (my partner) it goes up. I don't understand why.

Anyway. I might play an actual tournament now.

Capcom vs SNK 2

Decided to have a run through Arcade Mode on the hardest setting on this. It was, well, not too hard actually. I picked characters I don't normally use (so that's no Ken, Ryu, Iori, King, etc) and instead went for Athena, Eagle, Rolento and others (I died a few times, you see). This game is great, if played with the Street Fighter II pads, like I was. Standard PS2 pads are rubbish for everything.

Came 7th on the score table. I'm not sure where my high scores from previous plays have gone though.

Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon: SLAYERED

The wine puzzle was obvious once I'd read George's notes. Thankfully - I was feeling stuck. I then had another annoying Sam Fisher moment, and found the Templars hiding. They knighted George, and gave him the Phi stone, to go with his Omega and Alpha stones. On returning to the "gang", the location of Susarro was figured out (the exact location, that is) and it was off to Eygpt.

Another sneak-past-the-guards section later, and we were inside the Armillary, where the Dragon Power was to be switched on. First, I had to open a door (with the three stones), and then solve a silly "three things across the river" logic puzzle, which was easy. Suzarro had already activated the device, but a sudden twist in the story, and he was dead - and we were trapped in the Armillary. Er, except a simple crate puzzle (oh joy!) got us out.

Then to Glastonbury! Harry parked his plane outside the local pub, and Nico and George set off to find [the plot twist character spoiler] - which involved another crate puzzle. But it was too late - he'd started to activate the power, and turn into a dragon! And then, the most stupid thing EVER happened (involving King Arthur, Excalibur, the dragon, and a ridiculous run-and-dodge section) and the dragon was slayed! Hooray! No more crate pushing puzzles to do!

And the game was over. The end. All done. Completed.

Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon

Wandered around outside as Nico, solving another crate puzzle (or rather, the same one again), and got myself a card. I then went back inside and got it validated, and it was into the basement. Walked through it a little, and then a shadow appeared...

...and play swapped to George, trapped in a laundry room. Bashing open the door, I find myself in the basement too. Where George and Nico meet up again. Found Bruno, although Susarro is with him, and they escape to Egypt. We head back to Paris, and after a chat with some of the other characters, George goes off to the sewers.

Apparently, he'd been here before in the first Broken Sword game. A few puzzles needed to be solved before actually decending, and then once in I had a guard to distract (with a microwave). I'm now stuck in front of a secret door, which needs to be opened by pulling some wine bottles in a set order. What order, however, I have no idea. I tried a few times and the game crashed. So I turned it off. Take that, b0rked game!

Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon

I made it past the guard who I couldn't make it past last night (mainly as I was going the wrong way), and had a crate puzzle to deal with. My favourite. This was made harder as you had no way of knowing what you were supposed to do, but I managed it by accident. It turns out you have to push a crate to one position, and stand on it. You can then reach a ledge that you can't see due to the camera angle. Genius.

Managed to find the remote to open the other gate, which let Nico in. With her help, we made for the roof where George went up a drainpipe, which then collapsed. Nico had to find another way in. I then had to solve a puzzle with her, which involved dying a wig blonde so she could pretend to be Petra, the assassin. Meanwhile, George had more crate puzzles to do, and some oil to find and use on a hatch to let him into the castle. Back to Nico, and she now needs a security card...

Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon

Um Bongo, Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo. They also have vast underground labyrinths with annoying crate-pushing puzzles and irritating play-for-seconds, load-for-minutes gameplay. And yet another video game cliché - the rotate mirrors to deflect beam bit.

But anyway. Those out of the way, and a spikey death avoided, I gained the Alpha Key to match my Omega Key, and it was back off to Paris to find Nico's flat ransacked and Bruno kidnapped. And the news that evil baddie man has gone to Prague. Nico goes back to the Theatre to find clues as to where in Prague, and runs into Flap again. Smashing a vase over his head deals with him, though.

With him located, we go to Prague, to a castle. Nico uses her womanly charm to distract a guard to get me into the castle grounds, and then a Splinter Cell hide and sneak section ensues. Great. Got caught a few times, and turned it off. I hate them bits in games.

Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon

Got George into the building Bruno tracked down. And lo - it turned out to be the same theatre that Nico had entered previously. I rescued her (which involved dropping sandbags from a lighting gantry onto a baddie's head, as expected). I have to admit, there aren't really many surprises yet in this game.

Then I broke open a safe, stole a couple of artifacts, found one of the 'power sites', discovered George has some hiddern power, escaped from the place, got attacked, and woke up in Nico's flat.

Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon

After giving some pants to the fortune teller woman, I soon found the local Glastonbury pub on fire, so rushed in to save a bloke who turned out to be Bruno. Then it was back to Paris, where Nico had been let out of jail. Some wandering round, and some breaking and entering (which was the old newspaper-under-the-door-and-wiggle-something-in-the-lock-and-the-key-falls-out trick), later, and I was in possession of a DVD. The video on the DVD was the programmer bloke retelling his discovery of the end of the world. Or something. It involved ley lines, anyway.

Then I went off to a theatre, which was disused, and had to gain entry by use of scaffolding and fire escapes. And I was promptly caught by some baddies, including the woman who killed the programmer, and the man who killed the scientist. Friendly bunch.

Cut back to George 'n' Bruno, who had just arrived in Paris. Oh let me guess - I have to rescue Nico now?

Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon

Found my way out of the cave thing I was in from last night, through a faux Tomb Raider section, and escaped from a very gaunt baddie man. I then found myself in Glastonbury, as you do.

Solved the "mystery" of a missing woman, talked to the locals, and finally found some information on Bruno, who is linked into the story in some way. Off to find him next then, I expect.

Chokkan Hitofude

Worked my way through all the 40s and now I'm onto the 50s. Some of the levels seem to be really, really hard, and then you get a stupidly easy one. Is this right? Or am I just not doing them the way you're supposed to? Most of the levels I've tried so many times that you get the "start here" hint on, I haven't started where it is suggested and done it another way instead. Well, it doesn't matter in the end, I suppose.

Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon

After a hard think about which game I wanted to play-to-complete next, I settled on this.

Don't know how far in I am - not very I expect. Have done George's first bit, then all of Nico's bit, then back to George again. It's pretty good so far, although some of the puzzles have been a little obvious (although this is noted by the game - George says "Oh, the old block-on-a-pressure pad trick, eh?" at one point). I was surprised by the Shenmue-ness of it too, which is good, I think. There was even a QTE for Nico.

I also like the jokes. Looking at the painting of the apple in the programmer's apartment causes Nico to say "It's a Steve Jobs original", for example. And a traffic warden who wants to save the world from aliens is just genius.

Outrun 2

Just a quick few runs to see if I can beat my times any further. Managed to save a few fractions of seconds off some stages, but nothing dramatic.

Outrun 2

Poor Tim. He went and beat all my Outrun 2 high scores, but then I've just been along and thrashed him again. Aw, bless.

Gitaroo Man: IL EST FIN!

After 23423865873 more attempts, I defeated Gergorio III. Just. I had no energy left at all. Hurrah!

The next round was really easy, and I finished that on my first attempt, before moving on to the end of game boss - who was probably the easiest character to beat in the entire game! Not only was it a simple hammer-the-button for the "strum" cues, but there was a "charge" section every minute or so, which allowed me to regain all of my health. So I beat him, and the game was won! BEST.

And I'll never play it again, because it is crap.

Gitaroo Man

NO WAY IN HELL. I hate this game. I don't know why the heck I keep playing it, as it just isn't fun. At all. I can't get past the weird camp bloke I reached earlier. I managed to got to "Final" again, and died. Again. And again.

I think, actually, there may be something wrong with my PS2 joypad, as I'm certain that I'm getting the rhythm right, but the hits are not registering. I have to press Circle all the way in for it to know I've pressed it, and it is doing my thumb and wrist in having to press so hard for every single cue.

Gitaroo Man

I am rubbish at this game. I really am. Either that, or the game is impossible (which is more likely, to be fair).

I managed to defeat the Sanbone Trio, who were almost as annoying as Ban-K, but thankfully a bit easier. They only took a double-figures number of attempts to get past, anyway. Then it was on to some really camp bloke in what appeared to be a Cathedral. He's easy, until you get into the "Final" section, and then you die. I had to turn it off before I exploded.

Chokkan Hitofude

It seems that not fully concentrating on playing is the best way to do the puzzle levels on this game. I was distracted by the TV while playing, but managed to do all the puzzles I had left from 31-40, plus a few more that became available after that. Excellent.

Outrun 2

I thought I'd beat a few more of Tim's scores today, so did so. Specifically, Route 1. I then went and tried some of the Challenges, but failed on them all. They're too hard. FACT.

Then something bizarre happened. I decided to try and beat Tim's Route 4 score, so chose his ghost to race. All was well (aside from me being behind) until the first split in the road - I could only go left, as I expected, but Tim's ghost went right. Through the big Go Left Arrows. How odd. I managed to beat his time, and uploaded my ghost and score, but they didn't appear on the scoreboard. Very odd. So I tried again. This time I beat Tim by a good 10 seconds (although he went through the Go Left Arrows again), and once more I uploaded my ghost and score. And they didn't appear on the scoreboard.

So I assumed Tim's ghost was playing silly buggers, and chose someone else's ghost to play again. Sure enough, the car went right when I could only go left, and my score didn't appear on the table. I tried three more times, with other ghosts, and again - nothing.

Then I decided to try another route. Tim hadn't set a score for Route 3, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Nice time, score uploaded, ghost saved. But what's this? My score isn't on the table. Instead, my time from Route 4 is listed for Route 3. Playing the same route again, against my own ghost confirms it - the ghost car takes a turn I can't. And now it seems my Route 3 score is listed under Route 5!

What the hell is going on?

Outrun 2

Spent a merry while slaying Tim Miller's times on this, whilst simulaneously being whipped by others from ugvx. Damn your eyes, Kramer and Cowfields. Damn your eyes.

Gitaroo Man

Well, it seems that hammering the buttons randomly all the way through the level is the way to go to defeat Ben-K. How rubbish.

With him out the way, I then had to fight him again - properly this time - and he was pretty easy. As was the girl I had to play a proper guitar to after that. Now I'm onto some skeletons, who start off like Ben-K (only the cues actually match the music this time, so it's much easier), and then you have to defeat them normally. I got to Final, but didn't manage it. I couldn't time the short "strum" cues that came in a fast stream and so died. Boo.

Gitaroo Man

No, it's no use. I can't get past the shark thing. I've spent too long getting annoyed at this game to bother with it any more. It's a shame, as I enjoyed the music, but games are supposed to be fun - and this one I just want to burn.

Gitaroo Man

In general, I like rhythm games. I liked Samba de Amigo, and Parappa the Rapper. I liked Donkey Konga, and I like Dancing Stage. This, however, is pants.

I've done the tutorial, and defeated three baddies. Not without some difficulty, though. It is as if the game is trying to be three rhythm games at once, and fails at all three. The backgrounds make it difficult to see your cues for starters. Even when they don't, they're difficult to follow partly because the cues are so small, and partly because they move so quickly. Some of the cues (in "defend mode" specifically) move at different speeds towards the centre of the screen, making it impossible to judge the order they'll arrive. And, whilst watching one type of cue appear, another type appears off to the edge of the screen and flies in so fast you miss it. Think the Macarena track on Samba, on the hardest setting, and then poke yourself in both eyes whilst playing. It's like that.

Then I had Ben-K, the Space Hammerhead Shark to defeat. It's too fast, the cues swap order too close together due to differing speeds, and I turned it off in disgust. Rubbish, rubbish game.

Chokkan Hitofude

Managed Level 20. Hurrah! Also managed 21-29. More hurrah! Sadly, 30-32 stumped me, although 33 was easy. And 34-40 are too hard. Brain hurting now.

Chokkan Hitofude

I knew there was a puzzle mode lurking in there somewhere, and today I found it. Managed the first 19 puzzles, and am stumped on the 20th. The "Hint" kept putting me off, as it shows what you did last time, not what you should do - that really threw me.

Had a go at one of the Endless modes too for a while, but died far too quickly.

GTA: San Andreas: GSF 4 LIFE, HOMIE

After taking over the hoods (again), and helping Cesar take back his hood too, it was time to cap Big Smoke. I stole a SWAT tank to bash down the wall to his "Crack Palace" and worked my way through it to find the guy at the top. A short shootout (in the dark), and Smoke was dead. Word, yo.

Then Tenpenny arrived, nicked all the money, and ran off after torching the place. I had to get out of the building while it was on fire, to find Tenpenny escaping on a fire engine. As you do. Sweet thought it best to leap onto the ladder of the fire engine, and so I had to chase it and catch him as he fell. An on-rails car chase/shootout ensued, ending with Tenpenny dead. Hurrah!

And that's it. The end! You can still play afterwards, to do the side missions (like the quarry, the rest of the flying school, and the heist and stuff) but I'm not bothered with them. I did take one last look around San Andreas by plane, and then tried the Arco del Oeste jump on a PCJ-600 bike, only to fall short. Maybe one day I'll return for stoppies, wheelies and stunts. But for now, g'night San Andreas.

GTA: San Andreas

Booyah, Polaski. I popped a cap in yo ass. Well, technically it was a rocket, but you get the picture. Sadly, I couldn't take Tenpenny down at the same time, but he can wait.

Some more missions for The Truth opened up for me. First, I had to get inside Area 69 and steal a jetpack, and then I had to use it to follow a train and steal some "green goo" from a crate. Bizarre. I now have unlimited use of the jetpack though, which is nice.

I also got sent on a mission to Liberty City, which was pretty good. Although you only get to see a bistro, it is clearly the same one as in GTA III. Then I had to get Madd Dogg his mansion back from some drug dealers, which involved parachuting in with a load of Triads. And finally - Sweet is back out of jail and gangbanging in Los Santos is back on. I'm nearing the end. I can smell it...

GTA: San Andreas

Decided not to bother with the police bikes, as the heist probably isn't part of the main story. Instead, I did some more missions for Toreno, which I didn't realise were available to me until I saw the red glow at my airstrip. Had to fly a plane really low, under the radar, to some point and drop some stuff, then fly back. This was made harder by the twitchiest plane controls EVAR and the fact that the "minimum height" I had to fly at changed as the ground level did too. Not only that, but taking the most direct route took me across restricted airspace and I was shot at by heat seeking missiles.

Made it after a few attempts though. Another mission then involved chasing a plane, that was taking off, on a motorbike, and riding up into it's cargo bay. Once on board, I had to dodge barrels Donkey Kong style (yes, GTA rips off another game), kill people, and drops charges before parachuting out of there.

More plane hijinks (and hijacks, in fact) on a mission for Ken, where I had to jump from a plane onto another plane, and kill everyone on board. Excellent.

GTA: San Andreas

My first mission this session was to save Madd Dogg from commiting suicide. This was a little odd, since I'd previously ruined his career and killed him manager. Oh well. Next, I carried on with some bits for the heist Carl and Woosie are planning - including jumping out of a plane over a dam, then planting charges in the dam to blow it up (at a later date, I assume) in order to kill Las Venturas' power grid. Yes, much like the film really.

Came a bit unstuck when trying to "collect" police bikes, however. The mission is too hard as you don't have enough time to get all four bikes (which are really spaced out) onto a truck (which keeps moving and is also miles from any bikes at any time. All in 12 minutes. I'd managed three - just - when my time ran out.

GTA: San Andreas

I safely recovered the two idiot band members this time, and took them to see some mafia bloke who is caught between three rival mafia families. Some double-agent type missions were then completed, including rescuing the guy I terrorised on the front of my car yesterday, and then killing everyone who worked for him. Bizarre.

I also have another girlfriend now, who I need to "woo" in order to gain a security card for a casino heist. That's right - the game has gone all Ocean's Eleven on me. Slightly disturbingly, I had to gain a gimp suit in order to make her my wo-mang. Or something. And then I flew a plane into The Clown's Pocket. No, really.

GTA: San Andreas

MOST ANNOYING BIT EVAAR. It seems there's a flying school mission at the airstrip I've just bought, so I went and finished that. It took AGES as it's too hard. The plane controls are too twitchy, and when flying the helicopter the camera swings round to suit itself but not you, meaning you can't see where you're going, or what you're shooting at. Stupid.

Anyway, that done, it was off to Las Venturas properly, to do some more missions for Woosie. This included one of the best missions so far - scaring the bejesus out of a guy by strapping him to the bonnet of your car and driving fast, erratically, and dangerously. Excellent.

The Truth got back in contact with me to ask me to find two "British band members" from Arco del Oeste, whom I managed to locate easily. They were very funny, especially the Manc one. Unfortunately, I needed a car to carry them both , and I had a bike. So off I ran to the nearest road to get a different vehicle, and legged it straight off a mountain and onto my head. Silly me.

GTA: San Andreas

So I did a few missions for this dodgy "government agency" guy in the desert, blowing up helicopters and buying an airstrip. Those soon ran dry, and it was back to stealing cars for Ceser in San Fierro. Very much like Gone in 60 Seconds. And, to add to Dance Theft Auto, and Splinter Nigga, not to mention the million and one further other-game-a-like sections, I get a Need fo' Speed section. Complete with nitros and blur-o-vision.

But now I'm stuck. The only mission I can do is Zero's Air Raid one, which I have been putting off for ages. And I can't do it. Stupid RC planes and their bombs.

GTA: San Andreas

Spent a merry hour exploring the area I unlocked yesterday. This game really is rather big, isn't it? I just wish I could nick a helicopter again now. I'd stolen one before, but I can't go back and get it now as the airport is shut.

Also bumped up my SMG and sawn-off shotgun stats a bit. I should be able to dual-wield the sawn-offs soon enough!

GTA: San Andreas

Gettin' on, mofo! Or something. About four missions later (one of which involved blowing up a helicopter with a rocket launcher, and another involved killing [spoiler]), and I'm off to sunny Las Venturas across the sea. There I met a mysterious man, who wants me to ride a Monster Truck all over the hills, for no reason. I oblige, only to mess it up as I couldn't scale a mountain quick enough. Managed it on my second attempt though. And then the mystery man was revealed!

GTA: San Andreas

Managed the "Snail Trail" mission from yesterday on today's first attempt. I figured out the "happy medium" between tailing too close, and losing the reporter in the distance. I'm not sure why I was given a sniper rifle to bump him and his informant off, though, since a sword was just as effective.

I then spent a merry half an hour knocking my pistol, shotgun and SMG sk1llz up. I can now dual-wield pistols! John Woo would be impressed.